and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
