Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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