so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
