Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
