I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
