i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
