I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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