okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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