i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize