I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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