if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
