so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
