handjob tips. give me some.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
