you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
