5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
