just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
