they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
