I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
