Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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