OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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