so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
