I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
