Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.