Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
