I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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