i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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