i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
