oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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