YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
