so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
accomplished twins. life is a go
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I understand Curling. That high.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
