oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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