Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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