He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize