yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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