At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize