Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
