if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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