I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?