My cat gives me a boner
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.