Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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  (818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is" http://tfl.nu/fthj
  Replies (43) Good night (7552) Bad night (2031)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

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  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5892) Bad night (1698)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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  (303): maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing... http://tfl.nu/2fyx
  Replies (11) Good night (1249) Bad night (3958)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.

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  (724): Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways. http://tfl.nu/hzks
  Replies (25) Good night (5275) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (825) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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  (757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx
  Replies (8) Good night (1141) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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  (616): If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out (417): You'd think the first few times would have been enough http://tfl.nu/z7d7
  Replies (10) Good night (717) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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  (937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj
  Replies (13) Good night (3227) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.

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  (772): I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty. http://tfl.nu/zh78
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.

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  (310): Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity. http://tfl.nu/wgjy
  Replies (8) Good night (2595) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

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  (602): The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here http://tfl.nu/0qqg
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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  (908): All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti (615): That's what happens when you party with the tribe http://tfl.nu/pa7a
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito

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  (585): I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito http://tfl.nu/77vh
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1

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  (401): I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1 http://tfl.nu/yani
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer

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  (570): See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer http://tfl.nu/5fnj
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (264)

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