Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

that's how i am about ashleys and britneys

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(860): View more from Connecticut

what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

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(818): View more from California

I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(801): View more from Utah

Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?

(435): View more from Utah

Yeah.

(609): View more from New Jersey

I was spiderman.

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