is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO