Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
