i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Four minutes until I can fart!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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