i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
