playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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