By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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