Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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