it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
