i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
