fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize