Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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