yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
