last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
