Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
