She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
