living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
A bitchslap is in order.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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