he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
