Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
