thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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