you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
do herpes really smell.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
