and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
