The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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