Im at strip club and am horny
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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