Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
