Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.

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(518): View more from New York

You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.

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(386): View more from Florida

smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.

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(805): View more from California

I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(713): View more from Texas

The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING

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(402): View more from Nebraska

but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.

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