Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?