There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING