Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
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This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH