Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?