Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".