Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  @ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu

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  (248): @ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu <3 (1-248): please stop breathing. http://tfl.nu/7uu5
  Replies (36) Good night (762) Bad night (5014)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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  (618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out. http://tfl.nu/syqz
  Replies (47) Good night (682) Bad night (5213)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them

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  (720): i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them http://tfl.nu/2pf7
  Replies (2) Good night (4632) Bad night (716)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.

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  (713): just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american. http://tfl.nu/yild
  Replies (53) Good night (4561) Bad night (1214)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists

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  (720): I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists http://tfl.nu/iudi
  Replies (25) Good night (5730) Bad night (967)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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  (318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i
  Replies (7) Good night (2427) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

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  (515): Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/28bg
  Replies (18) Good night (6594) Bad night (874)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2539) Bad night (936)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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  (615): The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw. http://tfl.nu/u9lh
  Replies (10) Good night (765) Bad night (2810)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls

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  (832): Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls http://tfl.nu/30m5
  Replies (11) Good night (1104) Bad night (559)
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  (209): View more from California

  I will pee on everything he values.

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  (209): I will pee on everything he values. http://tfl.nu/vmpd
  Replies (8) Good night (1279) Bad night (645)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just don't do feelings in the summer months.

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  (917): I just don't do feelings in the summer months. http://tfl.nu/zjg3
  Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option

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  (253): My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option http://tfl.nu/xa3f
  Replies (11) Good night (816) Bad night (473)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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  (617): I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka! http://tfl.nu/buxw
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row

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  (570): Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row http://tfl.nu/1fkf
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (255)

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